I used to tell myself the reason I can’t wear skinny jeans is because I’m still carrying baby weight. My baby is nearly 7 years old. So really, it could’ve been that massive chicken & cheese burrito I’d been eating regularly that left me with creases on my waist from my jeans by the end of the day.
I used to tell myself that my kid just has more “spirit” than other kids when I really wished she’d just sit still for one flippin’ minute like those other sweet kids at Barnes & Noble reading hour instead of trying to scale a bookshelf.
I used to tell myself that I didn’t really want to look like Elizabeth Hurley, when in reality it’s because there’s not enough money in the world to pay for that transformation.
I used to tell myself that the reason I’m uncoordinated in Zumba is because I don’t have time to dedicate myself to the craft. In reality, I’m just plain uncoordinated and have no business ever being a fitness instructor.
I used to waste a lot of my precious time comparing my life to “shoulda” and “coulda” moments.
I used to insist on measuring my life’s success by comparing myself to others. After all, when you haven’t bothered to admire your own achievements, talents and abilities, the only recourse you have is to constantly take stock of others.
Then I got a grip and some self-esteem.
Have you ever listened to yourself? I mean really listened. Whether it’s an off-handed, self-depreciating joke or an internal monologue, I challenge you to actually hear what you say to and about yourself in the next 48 hours. When you call yourself a name, or feel ashamed of a body part or get jealous of someone else’s appearance – stop what you’re doing. Stop walking, stop talking – whatever – and reword what you just said. Instead of: “Ugh! I’m so stupid! I can’t believe I said that!” Stop, breathe and say “I made a mistake. I’m not stupid; I’m human.”
Would you ever say the same things you say to or about yourself to someone else – someone you love? Then why would you say it to someone you have to be with 24/7, yourself?! Why do others deserve so much more respectful treatment form you than YOU do?
Comparing yourself to others is fear in its most basic form. You remember your ego don’t you? It’s the little annoying voice in your head that is constantly making you twitch because you need to feel bigger and better than other people. Your ego is telling you to fear normalcy and envy what you don’t have. Quite frankly, what other people are doing or saying or achieving is none of your business. It’s time to turn the tables on your on ego. Realize that if someone has something you don’t, it doesn’t make him or her better than you. Understand that a person could be richer, more popular or even more intelligent than you but it doesn’t mean you don’t have things that he or she doesn’t have.
Look around. Maybe the only person keeping score on you, IS you.